Łukasz Krukowski, Mam przeczucie [I Have a Hunch]
All movement – horizontal, vertical, centripetal or diffuse – had died away. The metropolis has simply croaked and that is a state in which nothing is moving any more, even the muscle spasms following death have ceased and the intestines have released all their gases. My car is not a probe running through some hole or other, there’s no gastro- or colonoscopy in progress here. No need to play around with the corpse; get straight down to cutting.
The majority of smaller creatures of every kind have fled, but some remain. Parasites and healthy bacteria. Now I feel like a new type of cancer, an exceptionally malignant tumour, which won’t die because it has attained immortality. Its essence has become being – as theological terminology sometimes puts it and apparently only in the context of one, single thing.
First, I head onto the road – a completely abandoned dual carriageway, I can do a hundred and sixty here without stressing and I forget about the police, trucks blocking the left lane, and other such matters. My eyes are fixed on the distant centre looming faintly through the violet fog, where those great glazed bastards reside and the dirty grey block with a steeple. They were the ones who had triggered all this, but I’ve stared at them too long, trembled neurotically before them too long – now I look a little higher. A thick cloud rises above the city; a thick toxic violet coat. Where had it evaporated from? Was it possible for people to sweat something like that?
It isn’t actually that long since I last saw the metropolis, but everything has speeded up lately and a lot has happened. I felt like trash then, and focused on the fact that I was smaller than a storey in a block like that – smaller in the physical sense. That preoccupied me, since I wasn’t sure of myself, I did not know my own identity. Any shit can scare such a person. That person, however, the one who went out that time to buy a new thermos – that person died exactly like Jagoda and Trowski. If the metropolis remembered me as a wimp, afraid even to cross a few streets, and was expecting someone like that, then it would be tragically mistaken. I can see my chance; I see it very clearly.
Everything can be finished off that still remains there, that transferred from the deep structures of skyscrapers and overcame the people who didn’t succeed in running away. If I manage to get there, to return to Damian, that is to park somewhere and return to Damian, and if the police don’t catch me first for killing Trowski, then I am almost sure, actually I am completely convinced, that I can reverse the trend.
Isn’t that the station where I refuelled once, leaving for a trip? Something has swept it away. A tornado – that’s the answer that springs to mind. A tornado must have passed through here and cleaned up. Fresh air in the form of a tornado is better than this damned violet whose purview I’m about to enter. I’ve a certain tolerance, like everyone living in these times. Everyone is violet to some degree; we’re constantly immersed in it.
The city is destroyed too, nothing has survived. Most of the buildings are still standing, I can see them from a distance, but in reality, the city is destroyed and nothing has survived.
Translated by Anna Zaranko
***
Łukasz Krukowski, Tengo un presentimiento
Cada movimiento — horizontal, perpendicular, centrípeto y desenfocado — se congeló. La metrópoli literalmente la palmó y es precisamente en ese estado, en el que ya nada se mueve, que cesaron del todo las contracciones post mortem de los músculos, y los intestinos se vaciaron de gases. Mi coche no es una sonda introducida por un agujero, aquí no se está haciendo una gastroscopia o colonoscopia. No hace falta jugar con el cadáver, simplemente se procede a cortar.
La mayoría de pequeños seres de diferentes tipos huyeron, unos pocos se quedaron. Los parásitos y las bacterias vivas. Me siento ahora como un cáncer de nuevo tipo, un tumor extremadamente maligno que se resiste a morir porque ha conseguido la inmortalidad. La existencia se convirtió en su esencia, como se suele decir en la terminología teológica y, al parecer, solo en el contexto de una y única cosa.
Primero salgo a la ruta, una carretera de dos carriles totalmente abandonada, puedo correr tranquilamente a ciento sesenta por hora sin estresarme y me olvido de la policía, de los camiones bloqueando el carril izquierdo y otros problemas de esta clase. Mi mirada está clavada en el lejano centro velado por una niebla morada, habitado por aquellos hijos de puta acristalados y el cubo gris y sucio con su torre de aguja. Ellos fueron la causa de todo esto, pero yo había pasado demasiado tiempo contemplándolos, temblando neuróticamente: ahora miro un poco más arriba. Sobre la ciudad pende una nube espesa, una capa tóxica de color morado. ¿De dónde ha salido esta clase de vapor? ¿Acaso es posible que la gente sude de esta manera?
No pasó tanto tiempo desde que vi la metrópoli por última vez, aunque últimamente todo ocurría de manera acelerada y pasaron no pocas cosas. Por entonces me sentía como basura, me concentraba en el hecho de que era más pequeño que un solo nivel de aquella mole, en el sentido físico. Eso me ocupaba porque no me sentía seguro, no conocía mi identidad. Un hombre así se asusta por cualquier mierda. Aquel hombre, sin embargo, aquel que salió fuera para comprarse un termo nuevo, aquel hombre murió exactamente igual que Jagoda y Trowski. Si la metrópoli me recuerda como un blandengue que tenía miedo de cruzar unas pocas calles, y espera a alguien así, será su error trágico. Veo mis posibilidades, las veo muy nítidamente.
Se puede acabar con todo lo que aún queda allí, lo que se trasladó de las estructuras profundas de los rascacielos y se apoderó de la gente que no había logrado escapar. Si yo consigo llegar, volver donde Damián, es decir, primero aparcar en algún punto y luego volver donde Damián y, si al mismo tiempo la policía no me trinca por el asesinato de Trowski, estoy casi seguro, o totalmente convencido, de que lograré dar un giro a la tendencia.
¿La gasolinera en la que repuse combustible al salir de excursión? Algo la barrió de la superficie. Un tornado, es la idea que se me ocurre. Un tornado que habría pasado por aquí y hecho de las suyas. El aire fresco en forma de tornado es mejor que este maldito color morado en el cual me sumergiré dentro de nada. Tengo cierto grado de aguante, como cualquiera que vive en estos tiempos. Todos aquí son de color morado de alguna manera, permanecemos sumergidos en eso.
La ciudad está destruida, no queda nada. La mayoría de los edificios siguen de pie, los veo de lejos, pero en realidad la ciudad está destruida y no queda nada.
Selected samples
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The work of Józef Łobodowski (1909-1988) – a remarkable poet, prose writer, and translator, who spent most of his life in exile – is slowly being revived in Poland. Łobodowski’s brilliant three- volume novel, composed on an epic scale, concerns the fate of families and orphans unmoored by the Bolshevik Revolution and civil war and … Continue reading “Ukrainian Trilogy: Thickets, The Settlement, The Way Back”